There are a whole bunch of proverbs and clichés about the truth. The truth will set you free, honesty is the best policy, the truth hurts, so on and so forth. But do people really appreciate honesty? Do women really want to hear that not only does their butt look big in that dress, but they look like Big Gay Al in it? Do men really want to hear that their dick really isn’t the biggest dick his girl has ever seen? No, no one wants to hear that. So we lie. No honey, you look perfect in that dress. Ooooh baby, your dick is huge. I’ve never met someone so….endowed.
Was I little crass in making my point? Yes, but you know I’m absolutely right.
The thing about the truth is that really does have the potential to hurt us. No one wants to hear about their faults or feel that they aren’t good enough or hurt someone’s feelings. So we lie. We keep silent. We set expectations for ourselves that are way too high and expectations of others that are way too low. Our egos remain intact and everyone is happy with us.
Like Kevin Hart said at the BET Awards, there are too many yesmen and not enough nomen out there. We don’t want to make anyone mad or hurt feelings, but by saying yes that’s okay to our friends, family and even ourselves, we hurt them and ourselves more.
When people ask for an honest opinion, 9 out of 10 times they don’t want one. They want to hear something kind, something that they wanted to hear all along. (That’s where honey your butt doesn’t look big come into play.) Nine out of ten times when asked to give an opinion people won’t because they are afraid to hurt the other person’s feelings. So really when we’re asking for honesty, all we get are kind words that aren’t really helpful in developing ourselves as better people.
Now that doesn’t mean to go out and be rude to people. There’s a time and a place for everything. But the best way to keep people honest is by being completely honest with them. If I’m coming across as an asshole, please tell me that. If that outfit your wife or girlfriend is wearing is ridiculous, be polite. Tell her it doesn’t compliment her shape or skin tone or brings out one of their worst features. Just be honest and don’t be mad that if people don’t tell you what you want to hear without being honest with you.
What do you think? Is honesty really the best policy or are we kidding ourselves?